Ever since moving back to my hometown, which happens to be the place that the majority of my childhood, teenage, and adult abuse took place, I have been deep diving into the subject of cptsd, ptsd, and trauma and how it has and is showing up in my life as well as in the lives of many of the women I know and coach. My usual pattern when I am working at deep foundational healing is to pull back from those around me and go within. I have been able to begin to change and shift this pattern this time round by opening up and asking for assistance from those closest to me - not as a victim but simply as a capable healthy woman who is loving herself enough to ask for what she needs and is following through on the divine guidance she is receiving. What a difference this has made to healing my inner child and teenager!
Making friends and learning how to be compassionate with all parts of myself - body, mind, heart, and soul - the scared child and the ferocious bitch beast - is still a work of art in progress but what a beautiful soul nourishing piece it is turning out to be.
One of the most powerful healing processes I have been divinely directed to engage in is the physical revisiting of places around this city where I experienced being raped, molested, beaten up, and traumatized in some way in order to bring healing to myself, and the place, take my power back, and create a new empowered and high vibrational memory there. In this way whenever I drive past this spot it is no longer a place of trauma, victimhood, amd denseness but instead a beautiful empowered victorious piece of my story. So far I’ve done this with 2 places, which I’ll share in a separate post, and currently awaiting the divine directions as to which of the approx. 18 or so places to go to next.
As I’ve moved through this journey I’ve often been in awe of how strong and resilient I truly am and how my definition and expression of strong and resilient are changing, becoming healthier and more sustainable. At the same time it has been interesting to observe my Ego self struggling and working overtime some days to protect me from moving forward by berating me and attempting to convince me that I am weak, frail, unreliable, not a good person, and unworthy, so that I will fall back into old patterns and habits and let all this reclaiming my Goddess of Love work go. doTerra essential oils and Irene Lyons’s work on trauma and the nervous system has helped tremendously with this.
My desire moving forward is to be open and honest with all of you as I share this journey and what I have learned, discovered, experienced, and channeled around this topic so that together in Sistership we can support and celebrate and hold each other as we continue this ever evolving journey of re-membering who we truly are and reclaiming the Goddesses of Love we were all born to be!
Please feel free to comment below with any comments that are on on your heart and wish to be expressed and witnessed. Much love and blessings to you all!