Updated: Jul 1, 2019
A year ago when I began looking for the middle ground between being the sacrificial 'nice' girl & the 'eat you alive' bitchy woman (notice how nice is associated with girl & bitchy with woman in our society?) - neither of which felt good or yielded results that were healthy, sustainable, or abundantly rewarding - I discovered the place & practice of what I have come to refer to as the NITCH - a nice bitch. This is for me the grounded & centered healing place between the two extremes - the place from which I am fueled by the Lover Within, which makes choices & moves into action from a place of love not fear, & which provides the space for me to evolve more wholly into the strong, take no shit, 'I know my worth and accept nothing less' Goddess of Love I was born to Be. Practicing the 'what would a Nitch do' in everyday life, especially throughout our still ongoing moving journey, has been both uncomfortable and liberating. I'm learning more and more how and when to stand up for myself, my needs, & my desires in ways that are clear, strong, & compassionate as soon as a situation arises. As a result I’m confirming along the way that one of the most important keys to practicing being a nitch is getting comfortable with the idea that yes my speaking up for myself & giving notice (not asking) of what I need & desire may make someone else uncomfortable & that is OK. Time after time I am experiencing that when I am clear & strong with my boundaries & what I need & will or will not put up with, I end up feeling & being more grounded, more centered, & more at peace within myself. I'm no longer continuing to beat myself up over how I yet again gave in or blew up uncontrollably & as a result now left with having to clean up the now even greater, more complicated, more uncomfortable mess. I'm becoming increasingly okay with the fact that the other party or parties may not like me or my requests/demands because at the end of the day I like me and & how it feels to be in integrity with myself more than the need to be liked by someone outside myself. Interestingly I've noticed that even if they end up not liking me they either come to completely respect me or they leave (which really is simply another way that my needs are being respected). Surprisingly also, I'm realizing that, like the Goddesses of Love I work with, that it is being respected, not liked, that really matters more to me & that that respect starts with how I treat and view myself... a proud, passionate, powerful, loving Nitch! How would incorporating a little nitchiness into your interactions today serve you?